Going Into Motherhood With Good Toes

There comes a point in the third trimester when nesting escapes the nursery and begins making appointments on your behalf.

Suddenly, the same woman who has postponed her dental cleaning for six months is coordinating a hair gloss, Russian pedicure, prenatal massage, and waxing appointment.

Before anyone mistakes this for a postpartum beauty mandate, allow me to lower the bar. I have no intention of emerging from my C-section highlighted, waxed, and morally superior for having smooth heels. Nor do I believe a woman needs to be polished or hairless before birthing her baby. But with only a few weeks left before mine arrives, I have officially entered the final round of pre-baby maintenance.

Hair refresh: Colour, gloss, or cut.

I purposefully returned to my virgin hair colour—brunette—because my blonde was leaning brass, and I simply couldn’t afford to touch up my hair every two months, financially or morally. But perhaps a good toning is all you need. Or maybe you love committing to the platinum. Whatever works for you, sis.

I also will not personally be getting the mom cut. There is not an influencer or newborn in the world who could persuade me to commit to a bob. I did, however, trim a few inches because baby grip is lethal—and so is grease.

Maybe you book a hard-water detox, indulge in a scalp massage, or simply go in for a luxurious hair mask. Postpartum hair loss might see me coming, but I’m pretending to be blind. If I’m going to be dealing with the baby’s blowouts for the foreseeable future, I’ll make sure at least one of mine is checked off the list. So, shape my hair and blow me out, baby.

Nails and toes

Let the record show that this is the only essential last-minute beauty appointment on my list.

I’m even planning the perfect shade of nude to buy myself as much time as possible after the baby arrives. I have spoken to my husband about planning an entire day around my final mani-pedi appointment and returning to my out-of-town salon (which has, unfortunately, been replaced by a bougier and more local nail spa since I got pregnant) because they can guarantee me a pedicure that lasts at least eight weeks. That should carry me through the thick of newborn life. I even jokingly booked my mother-in-law’s time three months in advance for that first postpartum pedicure.

I will personally be removing the gel from my fingernails and opting for that European au naturel look, but it has been nice getting manicures throughout the last two trimesters. I’ve deliberately kept my nails short this entire time so I’m not utterly shocked when the extensions come off.

I’ve made peace with the bare fingernails, but you will never catch me alive, dead, or in the newborn trenches without a Russian pedicure.

As it happens, I came home from my second-to-last appointment today. It’s the inspiration for this entire article—not just because of all the “When are you due?” questions I got during the appointment, but because I got my baby-shower nails done and realized that this was my second-to-last pedicure before I am officially crowned mother.

Massage

I wouldn’t even be writing this if it weren’t for our real estate agent’s exceptionally generous gift of a nearly five-hundred-dollar gift card to a local spa.

Yes, I have watched hundreds of influencers make reels about their pregnancy massages one month before the baby arrives. But I always brushed the idea aside until it became a very real possibility for me. Our agent even looked me directly in the eyes when she told me to get those last-minute massages in, as though she were issuing an order rather than presenting me with a fabulous gift.

And if that look wasn’t serious enough, my mom had already offered to pay for a prenatal massage. But our realtor arrived at the door a few weeks earlier than mama, carrying a restaurant gift card, two dozen roses, and a spa credit generous enough to afford me not just one prenatal massage, but two.

Safe to say, I’m booked—on the same days my husband plays his last few rounds of golf with the boys before our son’s first tee-off.

I can’t begin to express how blessed I feel. The lightning crotch is real, and with these final five weeks surprising me daily with new ways for my back and hips to ache, I will very much be showing up to those massage appointments.

In fact, I wish this for every mother-to-be. Not necessarily that you have the most fabulous real estate agent in existence, but that you have a support system that recognizes prenatal massage as a very important registry item.

Even if a luxury massage at a five-star hotel spa is not in the cards—coming from a woman whose definition of a massage has been an electric pedicure chair—a strictly therapeutic massage from your husband, or an extra fifteen minutes added to the deluxe mani-pedi package, can still do the trick.

We stay humble, ladies.

Facial: Hydration and relaxation with pregnancy-safe products

I’ll be honest: microblading and last-minute facial appointments are not particularly high on my radar.

Give me a fresh bottle of CeraVe, some La Roche-Posay, and SKIN1004’s ampoule, and I feel as though I’ve gotten my money’s worth. I’m simply not a facial girly. I do my own brows, gua sha after a shower, and can summon the same sensation of self-care from a good bath.

But I have seen countless women book an entire lineup of facials before their due dates—and religiously pre-book that first post-baby Botox appointment. Get me a good peptide eye patch and a freezer eye mask, and I’ll convince myself my skin is as glowy and taut as it would be after eight HydraFacials.

To each her own beauty ritual. Mine simply happens to come in a seven dollar bottle.

Waxing or sugaring

I have decided to arrange this article in order of importance… according to me.

Personally, I’m a shaving-and-laser kind of girly. I’m already mentally planning another extensive round of laser hair removal in preparation for my next pregnancy… whenever that may be. I’ve been shaving daily since the second trimester and will probably be raw-dogging the same leg hair postpartum as I did in the first trimester.

I have become notoriously intuitive about shaving “down there,” considering I haven’t been able to see my coochie since twenty weeks.

For those who sugar or wax, all the power to you. If maintaining that routine makes you feel more comfortable heading into labour, book the appointment. If it doesn’t, let the record show that the people delivering your baby neither require nor expect a professionally landscaped entrance.

For the rest of us, invest in some new blades and keep up as desired… or able!

I have made it my prerogative to prioritize everything-showers as often as possible after the baby is born. I have watched too many momfluencers explain the importance of choosing two out of three self-care necessities, with one of my two always boiling down to a shower.

Granted, I write to you from the other side of the fence, not yet fully aware of the weight of these written words, but I will try my mighty best to keep my body parts clean-shaven—or, at the very least, clean.

Dental cleaning

Not everyone puts this on their list, but I’ll tell you now: this sits much higher on mine than brow lamination or a lash lift.

I don’t have much more to say beyond the fact that sometimes the least glamorous beauty regimens produce the highest return. Given that I do not plan to think about dental appointments for the first six months of my child’s life, I might as well get a cleaning before he arrives instead of after.

It might not produce a satisfying before-and-after reel, but neither does remembering the dentist while tit-feeding a newborn at 3:00 a.m.

Brows: Shaping, tinting, or lamination

For those who know, they know.

I might not be one of those people… But they know.

I have been doing my own eyebrows since I was nine years old, so I will not be opting into these appointments. But I understand that some people weren’t blessed with perfectly shaped and… coloured?… eyebrows. So, do you, boo.

Lashes: Lift and tint, or extensions

On a similar note, my last set of lash extensions lasted approximately three days before I either cried them off or picked them off.

So, count me out of this otherwise “vital” pre-baby beauty appointment. I cannot imagine enduring that very uncomfortable two-hour application only to jeopardize the entire investment with postpartum tears and raging hormones.

Raccoon-looking as I may be, I will be skipping this one.

But all the power to whatever makes you feel most like yourself, mama.

Book those tiny maintenance appointments you won’t want to coordinate with a newborn

On a final note, there are a hundred other little appointments to squeeze in before the baby arrives.

We have decided to fit buying a new car into the next five weeks, along with a couple more boys’ golf days and one last-minute shopping trip. But if a hand facial, Pilates session, chiropractic adjustment, or lymphatic-drainage massage is more your pace, just book it now.

Perhaps it is less about ‘beauty’ and more about addressing the things you would rather not Google while white-noising your infant to sleep.

Sure, none of it is actually necessary, and none of it will determine whether I am truly ready to become a mother. But if a dental cleaning, two prenatal massages, and one extremely strategic pedicure can buy me even a little ease on the other side, I consider every appointment worth booking.

I’m not preparing to emerge from the hospital as mother of the year.

I’m simply going in with good toes.

The appointments are booked, the baby is coming, and I’m writing through all of it. Subscribe to follow along.